Thoughts for the day

Photo Shoots

It’s interesting you know, I grew up a photographers son.  My dad came from the times where he made his own chemicals and emulsions out of the kitchen cupboard and thick paper.  A dare say he made his own pinhole camera (I know I did).  I learned on medium format and 35ml doing a little freelance work up until I was in my late teens.  I gave up all but an amateur interest for the next fifteen odd years.  My interest has however been brought right back into focus through my friendship with James Lyon, a photographer that I believe is just about to hit a very rich vain of form. And I was a real critic early on.  Recently I managed to update my photographic portfolio a little and shoot a promo for him on the south coast. The pictures are his not mine.

Due South from James Lyon on Vimeo.

Fear

I’m very close to signing a new option with a new producer on “No Balls” which I’m very pleased about.  My only fear is that we will end up having to take on a bigger named director then myself.  Could I work on the project with somebody else at the helm?  It’s a tough call that I really don’t want to have to take, but its a real possibility.  Life I’m afraid can be really tough.  The shame would be that I’m so very confident of my ability, and the humor is so delicate that I fear it would be lost on somebody else’s watch.  Bloody fucking hell, let me keep it!

Disappointment, selfishness, internalising & so much more

I’ve been horribly let down by a close friend, who left me in a world of trouble after giving me nearly a year of trouble.  I’m always happy to try and help people out, even passing on my limited knowledge and opening my address book, and against my little voice’s advice this time allowing them to live in my house.  In a perfect world friends would be able to stay over for months at a time for nothing.  But In tough times like this when I’m on a financial knife edge?  So constantly letting me down was bad enough, but to then not pay at all so that they can put a deposit down to move in with friends is beyond belief.  Career be damned, short term damaging choices ruin careers.  I learned a long time ago that you don’t shit on your friends, if you do you apologise.  Sometimes you just use up all the good will in the world and leave the favor cupboard bare. I’d be angry if I wasn’t so disappointed by my own naivety.  Just because somebody wants to do the same thing as you are doing, doesn’t mean they have the same set of morals and that they have any level of ability.  But hey next time I’ll sit with my legs wider apart so you can really kick me in them? Or not.  The sades thing?  I’m unlikely to ever try and help anybody as much again.

Laters,

Chalkster

Moving On

Well, there have been some delays in the film, mostly due to circumstances outside of my control.  But these things have now been dealt with and we are moving things forward, hopefully more rapidly then before. It’s infuriatingly frustrating, however it is pointless getting angry or letting these things get to you.  That is in fact how you loose track of the important things in your life and the project.

In the meantime…

Tom And I have put together a show-reel of work that should hopefully impress at least a couple of people.

Martyn Chalk - Director Showreel from Martyn Chalk on Vimeo.

And Tomorrow?

We start moving on.  My hope is that it will be a very good day.

Laters,

Chalkster

It’s Been Nearly a Year

Since Cannes and so much has happened and not happened. The shame is I will not be going this year, which of course I should be were it not for being behind on the project, which is now making me sick.  I look back on everything and whilst it’s been a steep learning curve I really cant see any reason or explanation for why vertically nothing has happened.I spend most of my time feeling sick about the whole thing.  The worst time of course is when I go to bed and my mind lights up like a Christmas tree.  I run all the scenarios in my head, worry about how I can get through the next month and hope that something will have happened over night to change everything.  Of course this never happens.

Of course it’s going to happen

That’s not really in question, and  I’m sure in some respect the project will be stronger for the water that passes and the knowledge that comes with time spent, time wasted and time well used. It’s just sometimes I feel so helpless and sometimes I feel like I should have trusted less and done more myself.  It’s no joke that this is said to be the hardest business in the world to get into.  Whilst I suspect its not entirely true, it certainly has its pitfalls and a hat-full of severe lessons for all to learn.

So Mentally

For me it all starts again today.  I’ll spend half an hour in the shower getting my good head back on and work from there.  Hey, we’ll all look back and laugh at how this all happened and the fabulous journey?  Perhaps not then.

Laters,

Chalkster